Quiz or Exile

The government has set a test to decide whether my wife can live with me.

Have you gone mad, Gordon? No. It's called "Life in the UK Test" and is compulsory for foreign wives wanting a settlement visa. I think the idea is that anyone settling in this country should be capable game show contestants. Britain is currently on top of the world league in pub quizzes about Britain and TV games shows. The phone-in competitions on TV are almost always answered correctly and there are fears that, of not for the "Life in the UK Test" immigrants will be ringing in wrong answers and not winning tickets to "The Lion King".

What is actually true is that the whole quiz thing is going to be expanded across all of society. By linking the "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" format to the benefits data-base, the GCSE, the university degree system, and the "Life in the UK Test" the government hopes to create a meritocracy that rewards people on the basis of their knowledge. Thus to get your income support you might have to answer simple questions such as "When was the coronation?" but to get paid really well you would be asked, "What are the 5 main alternatives to coronary bypass?" or just really useful questions like, "Where did I put my keys?"